When my parents first started dating, faith wasn’t really the biggest thing on their minds. They both were growing in their careers and learning about each other. They really liked each other and were figuring things out like any normal couple. As they grew closer, they began attending church because they both grew up Catholic. Every Sunday, they would go to morning mass at The Cathedral in St. Louis. Watching their relationship grow stronger each day because of their faith has made me think a lot about what it means to build a relationship on something solid and meaningful. During the Lent season, this is a perfect time to help each other to fully commit to growing not only as individuals but as a couple. Lent reminds us to slow down, reflect, and make sacrifices that bring us closer to God and the people we love.
Many people’s faith lives are important to who they are. To me, faith is something I value and continue to grow each day. Faith is the most important foundation for a lifetime partnership. It affects how the couple connects, communicates, and their lifetime commitment to each other. The shared values and beliefs bring people closer together, while having different values can cause conflict. The season of Lent encourages couples to support and uplift one another by deepening their commitment to God and embracing the sacrifices they are willing to make.
When centering your relationship on God, he is the guide on how to handle hard situations, forgiveness, and he helps the couple stay grounded through the hard times. God created men and women to become one. Faith gives relationships something steady to hold onto, the center, and something that will never change. It allows the couple to deepen their connection and have a sense of purpose.
When couples share their faith, they also agree on or share the same opinions on life, goals, and purpose. The shared values give their relationship a firm foundation; they don’t just live to be here, but to live life the way God intended. Faith is a moral guide for individuals and also those in a partnership.
Love, forgiveness, and commitment are mentioned many times in religious teachings. In the study The Influence of Faith on Marital Commitment, Michael A. Goodman found that couples who value marriage as sacred are more likely to stay together longer. Faith highlights that marriage is not a contract, it is a covenant. A covenant can not be broken because it is a promise, an unbreakable union between people that is fulfilled by God through Jesus.
Mr. Eckhard is a teacher here at St. Dominic High School. He is a theology teacher and specializes in moral teachings and sacraments that are taught to the Junior class. Mr. Eckhard had been a priest in the Catholic Church and decided to leave the priesthood to start a family. His wife, Kelly, and he have been happily married for 19 years. They have four children together: Jack, Claire, Kate, and Luke. Claire, Kate, and Luke are triplets. Jack is a senior here at St. Dominic and Claire and Kate are freshmen. Luke has autism and is nonverbal, and has severe intellectual disabilities. He goes to a special school called Applied Behavior Services.
I interviewed Mr. Eckhard about him and his wife, asking a few questions about what faith means to them.
I asked Mr. Eckhard, “How does faith strengthen your relationship and bring you guys closer?”
“Marriage is filled with so many joys, but it also has its fair share of struggles. The birth of our children was the most amazing moment in our lives! But as you know, Luke’s life is often a struggle. Many sacrifices have to be made and our lives are filled with anxiety and worry over his future. But we are both confident that the Lord is always near and is holding our hands as we journey home to heaven.”
This is an example of how faith can also help a couple manage conflict. Marriage requires sacrifice, and love is willing to do the good of another. With faith being the heart of Mr. Eckhard and his wife’s partnership, they have been able to grow closer together and learned of ways to deal with hardships together, finding strength, patience, and hope even in the more overwhelming moments.
Many couples that share the same value of faith, grow closer together by doing things that bring them closer to holiness. Doing things together like attending church together, praying, and doing a bible study grows to the fundamental roots of the relational foundation.
Darby Peters, a permanent sub here at St. Dominic, has been married about 18 months. She and her husband met here at St. Dominic and started dating in their junior year. One of their main priorities is to have the Lord at the center of their marriage.
When two people share their faith, their relationship has stability and purpose that you don’t get from just dates and texting all the time. Going to church together helps remind both partners what actually matters. Through hearing the passages about patience, forgiveness, and love, it helps couples apply it to their relationship. When getting in the habit of praying together, it becomes a very intimate thing and helps build emotional safety within the couple. It always allows better communication, how to care for each other and how to handle problems in a loving way.
Recently a man named Christopher Ellison at the University of Texas, San Antonio had done a report for the “Journal of Marriage and Family” and found that less than one percent of those couples would end up getting a divorce. With less than one percent, that is significantly low compared to normal relationships today. That shows how much of a difference and how powerful it is when two people make faith a priority. The couples aren’t just hoping that it’s meant to be and it’ll work out, but they’re choosing to build a healthy, strong relationship with God being at the center. Faith doesn’t just change a relationship, it transforms it. The couples that are rooted in their faith show that everything they do is intentional and that they are ready to love each other the way God had intended love to look like.
As I talk about faith and relationships, I didn’t really mention where someone’s personal faith life may begin. If you want to grow in your relationship with God, you must do it yourself and for yourself, not for a partner. You must take it upon yourself to want to know God and to seek eternal life because your relationship with Him is to be personal, real, and it is to stay with you your whole life.
With many different types of relationships, and different stages that come with a relationship, it all starts with dating. I had interviewed Paige Hutchinson, who is a Senior here at St. Dominic about her faith life and what role faith plays in her relationship. She and her boyfriend, Spencer, had met while being at school together. They had met her sophomore year and he was a junior at the time and before meeting each other, they had felt that they both were headed in the wrong direction and that God had brought them together for a reason.
Paige shared with me some things she and Spencer do together. They enjoy reading their bibles and praying together. Each night before bed, they pray a prayer of gratitude to say thanks for their day and the people they have in their lives. She said it’s a small part of their routine and that it’s helped them stay connected and more grounded in the stresses of everyday life. One of her favorite memories and the most recent was when she attended Spencer’s step-cousins baptism. She said it was such a beautiful and fulfilling experience to be invited to, and made her feel even more included in his family. Moments like this remind her of why having faith be important in her relationship means so much. It gives them experiences that are meaningful, not just having fun in the moment, but something that strengthens them as a couple.
In the end, Paige and Spencer’s story shows that faith isn’t just something there on the side, it’s something living in the center of their relationship. It’s constantly shaping the way the two of them grow together. When Piage was sharing about the habits they have made together, like praying before bed or reading their Bibles together, shows that their connection isn’t just something shallow, but it’s deep with the intention. They both share the same desire to become better for each other but also themselves.
Their relationship started when they both were confused and a little bit lost. Yet instead of growing further away from who they really are, they both found an anchor in both their connection and faith, allowing God to guide them back toward the people they were meant to become. With the gratitude they practice daily, and the sharing of meaningful experiences like celebrating a baptism within Spencer’s family, show that faith is something so beautiful. These shared experiences between the two now become memories and also add to the foundation of the relationship, shaping the way they love one another, communicate, and support each other.
With all of the unique love stories, from married couples like the Eckards, to the newly wed couple the Peters, to the young adults like Paige and Spencer, show one simple truth. Faith isn’t just something on the side of a relationship. It’s what helps it be strong, steady, and healthy with full of purpose. Faith doesn’t just go away and come back for the big moments, it grows as the couple grows closer and stronger and becomes the reason two people are able to handle both the good days and the hard times. With faith at the center of each of these relationships, it reminds the couples that they’re not alone and have to do things with their own strength. They have God with them to guide them and help them choose love even when it gets messy.
Whether it’s dating, the commitment of marriage, or the struggles of life, faith is what helps individuals stay patient, have forgiveness, and stay committed to love even when life gets hard. With the simple acts of praying together, going to church, or doing a bible study together, they turn into some of the most important memories and reminders that their relationship is built on something real. These simple habits show that love isn’t shallow or based on just having a grand ole time, but on becoming better people and growing closer to God as one remembering that love is self-giving, patient, honest and a commitment.
